Will’s last blog.

Evening space cowboys. Or is it morning. Either way it doesn’t matter because this is my last blog and I DON’T care. (quick side note: Microsoft Word doesn’t recognize the word “blog” as a word. I think we all know this means the very concept of blogging is unnatural and should be regarded with the same amount of contempt as bestiality and Catholicism.) Back to me not caring. This is my fourth blog, and I’m fairly certain I’m winning. I’ve blogged, vlogged, plogged, and twittered (tweeted? Twote? Twaith? Twat?) my way to absolute domination and success. Now I know none of you think this is a contest, hell by the looks of things most of you don’t even know what the blog assignment is, but rest assured it is a very serious contest and I am very serious winning it. Hard. My dick is easier than this. What’s that you say? Let me explain; the minimum length requirement is 250 words and just used 8 of them talking about my dick. 032% of the assignment is directly concerned with my genitals, and if you don’t think that’s impressive just know that my junk is rarely concerned with .032% of anything. I’ve gotten an A on each of these blog assignments so far, so even if I bomb the fuck out of this one, and I certainly intend to, I’ll still be ahead of the game. If this blog gets at least an F and a guarantee it will, my blog total will be eighty-seven point five percent. Did you get that? Did those symbols enter your feeble monkey brain and correspond to the abstract concept you have been taught to call “numbers?” 87.5% Barack Obama’s approval rating is 49%. Do you see where I’m going here? I’m better at comedy blogging than Barack Obama is at being the president of the United States. Math, bitches.