Monday, October 26, 2009
Blog #2 Devin Liu
When I first got here, I heard Santa Cruz was a beautiful city. Now I know it is only beautiful when you are thizzin, high, or drunk. The other day I went into downtown, supposedly one of the nicest neighborhoods in Santa Cruz. I swear, there is at least one crackhead every block. My and 3 of my guy friends, a sausage feast went downtown. The first block we saw a hippy try to hit on a girl. The hippy was like hey girl, come here, I got something to talk to you about. She responded what do you want to talk about, trees? sarcastically. Then this hippy responds I wanna talk about whales … I was thinking WTF?! Then we make a stop at Pizza my Heart where it is 5 dollars for a T-Shirt and Pizza. A hobo outside is begging for T-Shirts, not the Pizza. I guess hobos in Santa Cruz like to eat cotton instead of food. Then on the third block we saw this old man at a café, hes maybe 60 and he sees two young college girls. He takes off his pedophile glasses and says “DAMN do I see two ..?” All of us assumed that he was going to say “DAMN do I see two fine ass girls?” We reacted again like WTF when he said “DAMN do I see two Einstein’s in disguise?” I don’t know if it is me, but Santa Cruz is really weird. I barely see any gay guys. Im from San Francisco so im really use to a gay community but only Doug Holsclaw is one of the only gay guys I know here. Maybe I am weird in the eyes of the crackheads, but damn, what the fuck am I doing here?!
Patrick Webster Blog #2: "Future Marine Biology Grad Reconsidering Career Paid In Cute Stories, Endearing Moments"
Santa Cruz, CA - Patrick Webster, a junior studying Marine Biology at the University of California Santa Cruz, suddenly had a change of heart this Tuesday about pursuing his life-long passion of the ocean. Upon review of his monthly payments in the form of cute stories, funny anecdotes, and endearing moments, Mr. Webster realized that the feeling in his gut was not personal fulfillment, but hunger. "I'm cold, I'm wet, I smell terrible" said the exhausted student between applying for several unpaid internships, "It's everything that I was promised, but worse."
While he claims that he enjoys telling people about “that one time the baby otter sneezed,” turning lifelong memories and heart-warming experiences into currency has proven difficult. Constantly preparing restaurant quality seafood and cleaning its digested remains, Mr. Webster said he can’t help but feel that the animals are getting the last laugh. “They’ve seen the look of sadness in his eyes as he tosses them the food” said a fellow volunteer. “I know they’re mocking me,” Mr. Webster states, “Having a tuna sandwich is the only source of empowerment I have left.”
Though his week is
split between a student job, volunteer and docent positions at the campus’ Long Marine Lab and the Monterey Bay Aquarium, SCUBA classes, challenging courses, and basic metabolic function, Mr. Webster is continually selling himself short for work experience. “Sure, I’m busy, but it’s all about who you know at the end of the day” he explains, downtrodden and teary-eyed, “If that means I know more about my professors’ office layout than how to interact with other human beings, so be it, right?”
Sources close to the undergrad have confirmed that Mr. Webster’s personal life may have begun to suffer from his choice of major. “He’s OK to be around when he’s not studying,” said one of his two female friends, “but the other day he skipped out on a party to crawl in animal crap for hours to have more ‘field experience’.” An exasperated roommate added: “I swear he thinks that his Behavioral Ecology class is relationship advice.”
When questioned about his love life since starting college, Mr. Webster became visibly agitated. “All the girls that I meet think my job is cuter than I am,” he says, “I’ve been a student of evolutionary theory my whole life, but now I have a sinking feeling I’m being naturally selected.”
“Being free labor at the whim of graduate students seemed like such a necessary step. Now I feel used. Marine inverts don’t have a spine, but no one tells you they don’t have a soul” he says, visibly frustrated. "I know I'm getting a B.S., but I feel like that's all it has been."
While he claims that he enjoys telling people about “that one time the baby otter sneezed,” turning lifelong memories and heart-warming experiences into currency has proven difficult. Constantly preparing restaurant quality seafood and cleaning its digested remains, Mr. Webster said he can’t help but feel that the animals are getting the last laugh. “They’ve seen the look of sadness in his eyes as he tosses them the food” said a fellow volunteer. “I know they’re mocking me,” Mr. Webster states, “Having a tuna sandwich is the only source of empowerment I have left.”
Though his week is
split between a student job, volunteer and docent positions at the campus’ Long Marine Lab and the Monterey Bay Aquarium, SCUBA classes, challenging courses, and basic metabolic function, Mr. Webster is continually selling himself short for work experience. “Sure, I’m busy, but it’s all about who you know at the end of the day” he explains, downtrodden and teary-eyed, “If that means I know more about my professors’ office layout than how to interact with other human beings, so be it, right?”Sources close to the undergrad have confirmed that Mr. Webster’s personal life may have begun to suffer from his choice of major. “He’s OK to be around when he’s not studying,” said one of his two female friends, “but the other day he skipped out on a party to crawl in animal crap for hours to have more ‘field experience’.” An exasperated roommate added: “I swear he thinks that his Behavioral Ecology class is relationship advice.”
When questioned about his love life since starting college, Mr. Webster became visibly agitated. “All the girls that I meet think my job is cuter than I am,” he says, “I’ve been a student of evolutionary theory my whole life, but now I have a sinking feeling I’m being naturally selected.”
“Being free labor at the whim of graduate students seemed like such a necessary step. Now I feel used. Marine inverts don’t have a spine, but no one tells you they don’t have a soul” he says, visibly frustrated. "I know I'm getting a B.S., but I feel like that's all it has been."
Blog #2 - Well, at least I'm not wearing a tacky Gap sweater
So I realized a while ago that I'm mistaken a lot for being gay. I'm not openly gay, or parade a No to Prop 8 shirt or anything like that, but some of the things I do is considered by a lot of people to be 'gay,' which I think is half-ignorant, half-amusing.
Like for example, I LOVE Project Runway! Every time I hear a group of girls talking about that show, I can't help but put in my own 2 cents on some of the contestant's awesome/terrible fashion sense, or how amazing Tim Gunn is. The real reason I love that show is because of the fashion, and for some reason, it's 'gay' if a guy is interested in fashion. But it does make sense, because most butthurt straight "IM NOT A FAGGG DURR" guys usually dress like shit. And it's those kind of guys that scare everyone else to thinking "Oh no, I shouldn't care about how I dress or else people will think I'm gay." And I think this is why a large fraction of the male population's fashion is dictated by Sears. Not even Macy's, fucking Sears.
But then how, in this unfashionable masculine climate, was I able to slip through the cracks and actually give a shit about how I dress? I think it was due to growing up in a house with three other women. But they didn't directly influence the way I dressed, I think it was those Vogue magazines. Whenever I went to the bathroom, there was always a Vogue waiting to be read. So as the years passed by, absorbing the fashion photo shoots and the billions of perfume sample pages while on the crapper, I developed a sense of what looks good and what doesn't. I'm no expert, but I do know a few basic things, like how black pants never go well with brown shoes, or that a simple color coordination can make your outfit twice, if not three times better.
So to all the straight bros out there: It's ok to care about what you dress like. It's ok to use conditioner every once in a while. It's ok to look like you care about your outside appearance. If we all had this mindset, then maybe all those european countries can stop talkin' shit about Americans being ugly.
-James Farmer
Like for example, I LOVE Project Runway! Every time I hear a group of girls talking about that show, I can't help but put in my own 2 cents on some of the contestant's awesome/terrible fashion sense, or how amazing Tim Gunn is. The real reason I love that show is because of the fashion, and for some reason, it's 'gay' if a guy is interested in fashion. But it does make sense, because most butthurt straight "IM NOT A FAGGG DURR" guys usually dress like shit. And it's those kind of guys that scare everyone else to thinking "Oh no, I shouldn't care about how I dress or else people will think I'm gay." And I think this is why a large fraction of the male population's fashion is dictated by Sears. Not even Macy's, fucking Sears.
But then how, in this unfashionable masculine climate, was I able to slip through the cracks and actually give a shit about how I dress? I think it was due to growing up in a house with three other women. But they didn't directly influence the way I dressed, I think it was those Vogue magazines. Whenever I went to the bathroom, there was always a Vogue waiting to be read. So as the years passed by, absorbing the fashion photo shoots and the billions of perfume sample pages while on the crapper, I developed a sense of what looks good and what doesn't. I'm no expert, but I do know a few basic things, like how black pants never go well with brown shoes, or that a simple color coordination can make your outfit twice, if not three times better.
So to all the straight bros out there: It's ok to care about what you dress like. It's ok to use conditioner every once in a while. It's ok to look like you care about your outside appearance. If we all had this mindset, then maybe all those european countries can stop talkin' shit about Americans being ugly.
-James Farmer
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