Uhoh, I'm Late...

I know what you're thinking, but no I'm not pregnant. That's one of the perks of diverting from God's true path.

By: Jackie, Dyke.

So it's taken me a while to find a way to find a way around illiteracy, but I am finally completing this assignment through dictation to my roommate. He owes me a favor since I stopped using Britney Spears as an alarm clock. Speaking of Britney Spears, my brother's a homo. Once I came out, I asked him if he was going to tell Mom and Dad also, but he goes, “Are you kidding?! After the way they treated you?” Hahaha dick. My other brother was a little more sensitive. He told me he's not upset that I'm a lesbian. But he is upset that I ruined his fantasies about lesbians, “Cuz now it's like – Dude, that's your sister.” Ya bro, I'm sorry, I can see how this whole experience has been really hard for you...asshole. Luckily my little brother is cool with it. When I took him trick-or-treating last year, he helped me vandalize all the Yes on 8 signs on our neighbor's lawns. Ha and Christian parents were worried about the gays teaching marriage to their kids...here's some real sin for you!

Comedy Blog #3, By Tyler Thompson

Between Facebook, Scientology, and Miley Cyrus, there's no doubt that today's world is completely and totally fucked. But I have to say, I love the fact that I'm alive at this moment in time; I wouldn't trade it for any other time period. Imagine how shitty it would have been to be alive 200 years ago. Hardly anyone was educated, the most we knew about medicine was that pouring alcohol on a wound might prevent that limb from getting infected and falling off, and the closest thing we had to a rager was the Boston Tea Party. Now, you can make fun of our reliance on technology today all you want. You might even have a few good points, but I won't hear you because I'm listening to my iPod with my new noise canceling headphones, which I love by the way.
My biggest complaint about today is that humans are forced to work so hard, even in America. It's like, we make a machine that eliminates the need for human labor, but instead of letting humans work less, we find pointless things for them to do with their time and call it a job (see insurance companies).
However, the people who want to see us take a step back from science and get back in touch with nature are crazy if they think that is actually attainable. For those of you who have lived under a rock your entire lives, there are close to 7 billion people on this planet, about 6.99 billion more than the earths "natural" carrying capacity. Like it or not, science got us into this mess, and nothing but science, condoms, and perhaps a few nuclear bombs will get us out of it.