Uhoh, I'm Late...

I know what you're thinking, but no I'm not pregnant. That's one of the perks of diverting from God's true path.

By: Jackie, Dyke.

So it's taken me a while to find a way to find a way around illiteracy, but I am finally completing this assignment through dictation to my roommate. He owes me a favor since I stopped using Britney Spears as an alarm clock. Speaking of Britney Spears, my brother's a homo. Once I came out, I asked him if he was going to tell Mom and Dad also, but he goes, “Are you kidding?! After the way they treated you?” Hahaha dick. My other brother was a little more sensitive. He told me he's not upset that I'm a lesbian. But he is upset that I ruined his fantasies about lesbians, “Cuz now it's like – Dude, that's your sister.” Ya bro, I'm sorry, I can see how this whole experience has been really hard for you...asshole. Luckily my little brother is cool with it. When I took him trick-or-treating last year, he helped me vandalize all the Yes on 8 signs on our neighbor's lawns. Ha and Christian parents were worried about the gays teaching marriage to their kids...here's some real sin for you!