FINAL COMEDY BLOG by Robin Liepman

Good morning stand up class, and welcome to Robin Liepman's "ROBIN LIEPMAN'S BLOG!"
Ew, I just sneezed and mucus came out of my throat. I don't like being sick.
Isn't it funny though, how if you're in a very silly mood, things that are normally considered "disgusting" or "rude" become hilarious and applauded? In the comedy zone, you are allowed to break the rules. You are allowed to reach to the limits of the mind which are usually blocked by the superego, and tickle those neurons.

So I was wondering the other day, I wonder if monks have wet dreams? I mean they aren't allowed to do anything sexual, so they either focus their chi so hard that their sperm never comes out, or their fire hydrant just comes undone when they're sleeping. I wonder if they make jokes with each other about it.
Also on the topic of sperm, why are trojan condoms named after a vessel that entered a fortress and broke open with little guys running around and pillaging everything?

So yesterday I saw a real-live bean bag gun! It was intense. I was in the student protests, which was a pretty silly operation. Riot police came at 7am and we were inside singing at the top of our lungs "Solidarity forever! Solidarity forever! Solidarity forever! Education makes us strong!" as the police outside violently pushed all the protesters in front of the building down a staircase, injuring a teacher and making everyone upset. I decided that behind every angry riot-policeman is a little anger-child who will take any chance he gets to shoot at some college kids that remind him of the ones who used to bully him. Sigh. Can't people lighten up. Cops are robots when they're on duty.

Speaking of robots, more specifically iRobot, Tom Cruiz has successfully converted Will Smith to scientology.
I wonder how that happened.
Tom: "Hey Will, I have something kind of important I want to talk to you about..."
Will: "Haha go ahead brother, as long as it's not that one thing that you want to talk to me about..."
Tom: "Well Will, it's a very serious matter, I mean... you've been in movies about robots and zombies, but will you really be prepared for them when they actually come? I can see the headlines now: Movie star Will Smith can act like a robot-shooting zombie-ass-kicking hero, but when faced with them in real life, his guts were torn apart and eaten like spaghetti on a quaint italian sunday afternoon. How horrible is that Will? How horrible! I can't let this happen Will.. So I need you to... get an E-gram"
Will: "Oh hell nah Tom! I'm not joining your stupid cult as much as you want me to!"
Tom: "I see how it's going to be Will. Well that's all fine and dandy, because I put drugs in your drink and I will have my alien friends reprogram your brain while you are asleep."
Will collapses and wakes up in the morning as a strong advocate of Scientology.

Well, I hope you enjoy my entry!
Peace on earth till 2012! Hopefully longer.
Love,
Robin Liepman