Why I Love Veteran's Day - Emily A

I love Veteran's Day. Not only is the abbreviation V.D., it's also the only holiday where you aren't obligated to do anything.

I'm celebrating by having an Recalcitrant Old Man Day, where I sit around drinking Hot Toddies and yelling at the television. Later I might go down to the basement and yell at the washing machine, and then the missus and I are going to the park. I fully intend on yelling at the ducks. I'm going to have my assistant wheel me around with a blanket on my lap.

I am going to yell at my blanket. It is going to be fantastic.

It’s okay to yell at things when you’re old. Not only is it the only way you can hear yourself, but old people grew up in a different time, when microwaves were the new obsession and televisions were a luxury. When cars were American and blackface was okay. Simpler times, when a twelve-year old could walk around the woods with a shotgun and a pair of faithful dogs for weeks on end, living by his wits. When naming pets "Ol' Yeller" and "Little Ann" wasn't goddamn weird. When the most important things in life were paying respect to the Lord and beating up minorities. My favorite grandpa (god rest his wrinkly soul), was a giant racist and a homophobe, but that's okay, because after a certain age you just nod and smile and remember not to let them vote too much.

Veteran's Day is a celebration of all of these things, of coupons and elastic-band pants. It's a day for puttering around and playing backgammon. It's a day for griping about bread prices, and reading all the parts of the newspaper, even the boring bits about other peoples' wedding engagements or the article about high school sports. It's a day for reminiscing about the times you played high school sports, and happily leaving out the fact that you where terrible and actually single-handedly dragged down your entire high school track team.

Veteran's Day is a day acknowleding the glory and horror of war! Where we awkwardly look away from PTSD, and—fuck it, Veteran’s Day is a day for hangovers and videogames. Grandpa, this next round of Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 goes out to you. I’m turning up the volume on this one.