The format of the show would be just like all that other Discovery/Travel channel business,
You take one guy; throw him into a bunch of different environments, and he uses his special skills/gimmick to navigate and survive and whatever. Pretty simple stuff. I mean you already got your Jeff Corwins, you got that uh…British guy who deliberately has fucking insects bite him, you got the bald dude who goes to different countries and just eats everything.
I know what you’re thinking; uh yeah…so what? We already have enough that shit as it. What the fuck are you going to do that so special?
Well here’s the thing people,
I don’t have any special skills.
But I do like to get drunk.
And I like animals.
Basically what my show would consist of me:
True Story, I look exactly like Snake Plissken
travelling all around the world to a bunch of countries I’ve never been to, like uh…how about fucking Kenya? How does that suit you? They’ve got giraffes and shit.
Exhibit A: a Giraffe
And somehow, through my extremely limited knowledge of animals and their behavior, entice these wild critters to have a little sip of my O.E.
Exhibit B: Olde English
From there on end, there’s really no telling as to what’s going down as me and the inebriated creatures wreck havoc on the rest of the animal kingdom. Say for example, I’m chilling with my newly-found orangutan homies, drinking on some brass monkeys, when one of them decides we should go hyena egging. Well shit mr. orangutan, count me in! Or another week me and some shwasted elephants could go stealing road signs in Swaziland. Taco Bells the world over won’t even know what hit them when I’m bringing in packs of lions who’ve got the hardcore drunchies.
Now I know some people might get angry and call it inhumane to give such animals alcohol. To you I say don’t worry, I totally google’d “getting drunk with animals” beforehand and found out that certain animals will eat fermenting fruit to fulfill their alcoholic needs. There’s even a youtube link. So it’s cool.
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