I learned something new today: If you go to military college to play football and get drafted into the NFL, you don’t have to finish out your military service. You enroll in that school planning on going to Iraq and fighting for America, but wind up in Miami playing for the Dolphins.
Sounds a little like Wonka’s Golden Ticket, right?
But apparently it’s not that easy.
One of Army’s more proficient student athletes was recently drafted into the Big Time, but rather than thanking God that he doesn’t have to go to the desert, he actually felt really conflicted.
Does he go to war for his country? Or blitz quarterbacks for Bill Belichick?
Honestly, I don’t know how this isn’t a no-brainer. Sure, there are plenty of Pros and Cons to joining the Military. Pride, adventure, and honor come at the high price of lost limbs, Post-traumatic Stress Disorder, and Trench Foot. But, I really don’t see the drawbacks to being a professional athlete.
The NFL has fat paychecks, skinny women, and, best of all, no insurgents trying to blow you up.
I mean, I see how having big, sweaty, insane men try to hit you everyday could get a little stressful, but it must beat having big, sweaty, insane men trying to kill you everyday, right?
If you’re out there and reading this, take my advice, join the NFL and not the army.
(…Unless you’re drafted to the Raiders, then Iraq really may be the better option.)
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