So Ive been using the Internet for quite a long time now, and the one thing that is repeatedly confirmed for me is that there are some things that do not need to be on the Internet. Midget porn, beheading videos, and some 12-year old’s pointless ramblings on Youtube are all wastes of bandwidth and my time. But these are all common examples; most people don’t want to see other people get beheaded (except for you, freak). But I have higher standards, I suppose.
My brother sent me an article about scientists who found spiderwebs that are hundreds of years old. Christ, I don’t want to read that! That means there are hundreds of year old SPIDERS. What deepest and darkest reaches of Hell are they from? What’s to stop them from coming through my window (or potentially my wall, I don’t know how big they are) and sucking all of my precious fluids out? Have they evolved the ability to talk? What would a really old spider have to say? (Must be a storm comin, 6 of my knees are actin up…).
Get that off my screen, I never want to see it again. Gimme the midget porn instead.
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