Byron McGoverns Blog #2

Byron McGovern
W1158389
Theatre 80E
Prof. Holsclaw
UCSC

The Dangers of Facebook
Comedy Web Log Number Two

I have a problem. I used to be embarrassed it about it but I recently learned this disease affects 5 of 6 college students throughout America. The disease is addiction. But not to some easy-to-kick habit like Crack or Heroin, I’m talking about addiction to Facebook. It starts off slow, a status update here, post a Youtube video there, but before you know it, you’re off the deep end and you’re drowning.
When I wake up in the morning, I check my Facebook before I breathe. I need to update my status constantly, or else my close (and distant) friends wont know exactly what I’m doing at that moment in time! I suppose I could get out of bed before I log on, but I’d lose precious seconds that I need to comment on peoples photos and write on their walls.
I’ve started taking a digital camera with me everywhere I go, so that I can chronicle my entire life. I have 3,000 Pictures of Me on Facebook, and you can see my arm reaching out holding the camera in every one of them! I also take the time to carefully tag everybody who’s in the picture with me. It takes a long time, but I’m sure they appreciate it.
And since I got an iPhone, I can be on Facebook no matter where I am! At dinner, in a movie theatre, taking a deuce, on a date, anywhere! Class is the big one; now that I can be logged on in class my attendance is perfect. I don’t even take notes anymore, I just write a Facebook note to all my friends in the class.

Pretty soon, I wont have to talk to anybody anymore! I'll be able to just send them a Facebook message. That way, I wont need to develop any social skills during my High School and college years, because Ill be able to do everything through Facebook!