Buffets and Me: A Love Affair
There is a certain amount of appreciation that one has for certain things. I personally have found that mine lies in all you can eat, free beverage included, fully stocked and ready to consume buffets. Souplantation, or its Northern brother, Sweet Tomatoes comes to mind as a buffet Mecca, if you will. It truly challenges the human mind. I will go in, plan on having a salad and two muffins, and come out three hours later, wheezing and heaving after consuming enough lettuce for a rabbit farm, three bowls of soup and one of those little brownies with the soft serve on top... Only in America can one eat 3000 calories at an over glorified salad bar.
What I really love though is ethnic buffets for they give you a chance to eat all the weird shit you never want to order off the regular menu. For example, I live near The Fuji Buffet: All You Can Eat Korean, Japanese, and Chinese Foods. Who’s the person that plans out all the stuff that they serve at the buffet? Has any authentic Asian person ever sat down to consume a real meal of their homeland and its EVER included the words "zesty seasoned fries"?!?! NO! But this is what these restaurants are trying to make our American, uncultured minds believe. It’s this weird shit that throws me off. Next to the Kung Pao Tofu and Mushu Pork, they throw in something completely out of left field. Sunday’s delicacy? Apple Pie. I do not approve. When the fuck did someone ever say “well that’s as Chinese as Apple Pie!” Never. If I want some terrible butchering of an American classic, I will go to McDonald’s instead.
There is a certain amount of appreciation that one has for certain things. I personally have found that mine lies in all you can eat, free beverage included, fully stocked and ready to consume buffets. Souplantation, or its Northern brother, Sweet Tomatoes comes to mind as a buffet Mecca, if you will. It truly challenges the human mind. I will go in, plan on having a salad and two muffins, and come out three hours later, wheezing and heaving after consuming enough lettuce for a rabbit farm, three bowls of soup and one of those little brownies with the soft serve on top... Only in America can one eat 3000 calories at an over glorified salad bar.
What I really love though is ethnic buffets for they give you a chance to eat all the weird shit you never want to order off the regular menu. For example, I live near The Fuji Buffet: All You Can Eat Korean, Japanese, and Chinese Foods. Who’s the person that plans out all the stuff that they serve at the buffet? Has any authentic Asian person ever sat down to consume a real meal of their homeland and its EVER included the words "zesty seasoned fries"?!?! NO! But this is what these restaurants are trying to make our American, uncultured minds believe. It’s this weird shit that throws me off. Next to the Kung Pao Tofu and Mushu Pork, they throw in something completely out of left field. Sunday’s delicacy? Apple Pie. I do not approve. When the fuck did someone ever say “well that’s as Chinese as Apple Pie!” Never. If I want some terrible butchering of an American classic, I will go to McDonald’s instead.
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