Comedy Blog 1, Dustin Conlon

Dustin Conlon
Stand Up Comedy
Oct 14th 09

Comedy Blog

The other day I was thinking about how messed up the UCSC bus system is. We stand around for 10-30 minutes waiting for a bus to finally come. 25 minutes goes by and off on the horizon you see that whitish, bluish blur of color that means “Hope.” Like Obama. And as that bus comes nearer and into clearer view, you see the yellow numbers light up. It’s a 15, a 16, 19, or even a 10. Don’t ever think it’s the 20 because that mother fucker never comes. It’s so close , its half a block away, now you can see the driver’s face, god they are always ugly. Wouldn’t it just be awesome if all the bus drivers were just straight out of Hugh Hefner’s “Girls Next Door”? We could walk on the bus and the first thing we see instead of a 50 year old over-weight (but very nice) woman, is a beached-blonde, double D, can’t even spell Playboy 20 yr old girl-woman. Now, the bus is here, anddddddddddddddddd it’s gone. Goes right by, sometimes its full and they can’t fit you in, sometimes the 50 yr old over-weight woman just doesn’t see you, and sometimes the driver decides you aren’t worthy of a ride up to class, for what reasons we’ll never know. You stand there and watch those blue and white colors disappear, hope is gone, you look around you, and say to yourself, “Fuck yeah, I don’t have to go to class, it’s the bus’s fault.” Surprisingly that excuse always works. If you say you couldn’t get to class because of the buses, everything is cool.