You know what I find odd? It is this sexy vampire fad in popular culture. I always remember and liked better the movies where they were killing those fucking vampires, not becoming friends with them and fucking them while their blood is getting tapped. I mean the vampires are supposed to be dead, right? Don’t they have a word for people who have sex with dead people? Oh yeah, they’re called sufferers of necrophilia. Leave it up to writers to lead people into believing necrophilia is cool and when your blood is getting sucked by an undead creature don’t even trip you know its sexy. You have always longed to get swept off your feet by a blood fiend who isn’t even awake during the day. And nothing turns on a nonliving vampire like when you get your period girls. Vampires look forward to that time of month like landlords look forward to the first. The way I’d imagine it Jenny would be getting fucked by Dracula’s ice-cold dick, just so he could get a warm taste of B positive. Jenny you know Dracula only likes you for your blood. He’s got your menstrual cycle memorized and I’m pretty sure he’s been getting blood donations from Kathy. What are you gonna do when Dracula sucks a little bit too much and your parents find you lying in a bloody bathtub unconscious and covered in vampire ejaculate? Well I don’t know if vampires ejaculate, but that just one more reason this vampire sex is ridiculous. For real, Guys there is no way you could fuck a vampire. How could you keep an erection while you blood is being drained? Fucking a vampire would be like riding a bike up a hill on half inflated tires.
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