Apt. Livin'

Michael Platten
October 14, 2009
Blog 1 Living in an Apt. Complex
The plan at the end of last year was to live 3 of my friends and “Shithead” in a house. “Shithead” is my friend Colin’s dog. We call him that for many reasons. First, the dog shits diarrhea every time something new is introduced to his diet. He has a weaker stomach than I do even after eating habanero covered wasabi balls. It took my housemate 4 weeks to discover and tell me to stop feeding Shithead chocolate M&Ms. I mean, how was I supposed to know M&Ms are like concentrated shots of colon cleanser for dogs. So, there’s actually a weight limit to how big a dog can be at our complex and its 35 lbs. Our dog is half Mastiff and half Labrador. This adds up to be about an 80 lbs dog at just the age of 15 months. The trick has been to hide the dog from the Manager, but it’s difficult when you’re walking around with a small hippo that looks like he eats children.
One thing that I didn’t expect with moving to an off-campus apartment was that there are RAs off campus as well, but they call themselves “Police”. You gotta love cops that have a sense of humor though. I was at my neighbor’s apartment about a week ago. At about 3 A.M. the cops knocked on the door. My neighbors decided that answering the door would be a bad idea. So we just waited till the cops left, which they did about 20 minutes later. The cops got the last laugh though, instead of leaving a ticket, they took every single pair of shoes outside the door. About 10 people had to walk home barefoot!