Amir Raad comedy blog 1

So me and my friends used to talk nonsense to each other around people we felt were an awkward presence, usually at parties. This involved a lot of intoxicating factors. The sentences would be complete but it went something like this, “the trees really have the distance this year I just don’t know where it will take me”. I have finally met our match and he is my next-door neighbor, mark. Mark is crazy as fuck. I have seen two different personas that mark undertakes. 1) Business man with Bluetooth headset and doesn’t acknowledge me when he parks and walks into his house. Five hours later marks in a flannel halfway buttoned stumbling and quite belligerent. Mark is friendlier than he is ever been. He invites himself in, bribes us with weed and awkwardly stays for two hours. But we haven’t got crafty with his presence we try to fuck with but as drunk as he is, he catches on and starts to question what the fuck we are saying. We must do this to undergo the hardship he puts us through. Mark confuses the fuck out of me. I have had an array of discussions with mark, “my lady won’t fuck me if I eat taco bell”, “where are your travels because we need to go down to LA and where we can take photos.” The weirdest one yet I heard tonight, “you know when you come back from Tibet, you know I have lived here for twenty years and you know be respectable” Oh mark, you freak me out. And im not aloud to laugh at his crazy comments because his ass gets pissed,, DON’T LAUGH. Once we have had our fun we start to ignore mark or try and completely cut him out of the conversation. He will try to interrupt in a nasally Keanu Reaves-esque voice, “hey guys, excuse me guys, guys, hey guys, excuse me.” Although mark always tries to give me advice the only advice I have gotten is to not live in Santa Cruz for twenty years because you will still be eating taco bell and making incoherent sentences.