- People having discussions in narrow corridors.
I love debating about whether or not Jesus would eaten turkey as much as the next dude, but there is a place for that discussion, namely NOT in the middle of a path. People commonly bump into friends (I’m not against this) and start talking (also cool with me) right in the middle of sidewalks (GRRRR go die). Please take one giant step to the left, and carry on. These people also have the nerve to give ME funny looks when I have to circumnavigate them; “what’s wrong with you?” the looks ask.
Dear Santa, I would like a high voltage cattle prod for Christmas.
- Slow people at the salad bar.
I’m a vegan, i.e. I eat more vegetables than the population of a small southern state does. So if you are in line in front of me at Fresh Choice, and are trying to pick which wedge of carrot you like the most… you are depriving me of my fix, and if you change your mind about which cherry tomato you want one more time, I will set you on fire (or cattle prod you once my Christmas Wishes come true) Don’t mess with Vegans, when we’re hungry we mean business.
- Ugly curtains.
Okay, this is the only thing in the world I invoke my I’m-Gay-so-I-know-better-because-its-in-my-DNA credential (and when I complain about place settings, and when I defend not knowing what sport the Red Sox play). If you hung something up over your windows that looks like it was just used to wipe up an oil spill/ spent 5000 years in the 7th circle of hell/ is something Ray Charles would have choose, then I WILL comment. I’ll be subtle “did those come with the house?” or “These must have saved you a fortune!” or if I’ve had some wine: “Do you really want to know why your husband left you? Follow me, here it is! Hanging right there in front of your windows!”
That’s All folks.
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