So when I went to school in the United Kingdom, yeah I sound conceited, but hey they’re funny people and provide for great material, so shut up. Anyway, no offense to them, but the English school system is like having a candle stick appear over your head instead of a light bulb*, it could use an upgrade. *May I suggest the Halogen Sustainable Energy Saver? Not unlike Harry Potter they don’t use the internet to “shop” for classes, everything is pen to paper. Like how am I supposed to get my online shopping fix if I can’t add classes to my cart?
I’m very particular about what I put under my arms as I am with what I put up, in, and around my gina, so when I recently went to Savons, I mean Longs, fuck, CVS and stood in front of the shelf for a good 30 minutes, I was totally perplexed about this whole redefining of antiperspirant. I left having bought spray on deodorant today because the glide on looked like a pariah on the shelf. I went home and used it and it felt like I was spraying Binaca in the pit and I would never, ever spray Bianca in, or around the poontang, unless...hmm, and then I thought about it, actually that might not be such a bad idea, you know for that “minty fresh feeling, no matter what” I tried it and you know that two second delay and then the AHHH FUCKING HELL THAT HURTS LIKE A BITCH CUNT MOTHER FUCKER! Yeah, felt like I was using a can of aerosol and tagging in the wrong alley. I’d like a Surgeon General Warning, like everyone knows not to spray random chemicals in your eyes, but every other orifice is somewhat ambiguous, thank you.
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