Beyonce: Please Date Me

An Open Letter:


I love Beyonce. I love her so much. I listen to her in the morning, in the evening, at work and at play. One time I went to Costco, and on the big screen TV they were playing her music video for Crazy in Love. This boy was standing next to me and he must have been around 7 or 8. When she finished the dance scene, all he could do is look up at me and with his big brown eyes say “Wow.” I feel the same way little Timmy, I feel the same way. Beyonce is a force of nature. She WAS in a band with 3 other girls, and from the start it was always like they were her back up dancers. She got rid of those bitches as soon as she coined her own word. Let me repeat that. Beyonce made up the word “bootylicious” and it is now listed in the dictionary. So basically, this bitch can act, sing, dance, and shape and form our modern day English language. If that doesn’t deserve a nightly watching of her video for “Ring the Alarm” on youtube, I don’t know what does. That is why if Beyonce ever came across this blog while googling her own name and receiving copious amounts of head from Jay Z at the same time, I would like to tell her that I would love to be the person to shine her shoes or brush her dogs or even collect her droplets of sweat. Thank you,
Kat Brown