Alex Caan, Blog #1: Things That Make No Sense

10.14.09

In my every day life, I notice things that, to put it bluntly, make absolutely no fucking sense. Why people do stupid shit, I have no idea, but it certainly catches my eye. I thought I’d point out a few particular situations that occurred within the last week or so.

The Naked Run: Don’t jump to conclusions. I am in no way suggesting that the run itself does not make sense (even though it probably gave everyone swine flu and/or pneumonia). Running naked through the forest in sub-temperate weather is something I can almost comprehend, but what I cannot understand for the life of me are those who take PICTURES. I can’t speak for anyone but myself, but I can guarantee you that I will remember 600 nudists running through a fucking storm. I don’t need visual documentation. If you need it, you’re either not paying close enough attention or you’re a goddamn pervert. If you are a pervert, Google search “boobs.” It’s 100% easier than taking blurry photographs of college kids. Even worse than the creepers with cameras are those who stand around in rain coats and yell at stragglers about their tendency to walk. “It’s the naked RUN, not WALK!” Correct me if I’m wrong, but walking naked is much closer to running naked than standing around in winter clothing and being a douchebag. I dare you to try running around campus without stopping to catch a breath. Unless you’re Usain Bolt, I seriously fucking doubt you can do it.

NASA Got Bored: With budget cuts and an unsteady economy, the folks at NASA have been doing a lot of thumb twiddling lately. Last Friday, the rocket scientists took a break from Sudoku and said, “Fuck it! Let’s crash a satellite into the moon.” And so they did! The satellite impacted the moon around 4:30 am and created another crater to be added to its already massive collection. The folks at NASA all ooooed and ahhhhed as the $79 million satellite burst into debris and then returned to their computers to master minesweeper (apparently NASA still runs on Windows 98). Not only does this make no fucking sense to me, but also now I feel bad for the moon. He’s lonely enough as it is. No need to throw shit at him.

Until next time,
Alex Caan