Dear Bloggy,
Ever since attending college I have discovered the phenomenon of dealing with drunken friends. It seems like anytime they get insanely drunk something bad has to happen. Just the other day I had an unfortunate event coming back from a party we attended earlier in the night. Before we started our walk back to our apartment my friend Eric jumped out of the car a head of us. While the rest of were shambling out of the car, Eric was trying to grab our attention. When we finally looked over we saw the sight of our beloved friend full frontal urinating all over the parking lot. I hate saying this, but that wasn’t the first time I saw one of my college friends penises’. I did tell him later I wasn’t impressed in case he was trying to show off. M group of friends and I have this expression we use quite frequently and it’s “drunk as hell”. Now you can be drunk while you’re drunk as hell, but it’s not a requirement. Drunk as hell is a state of being rather than being just plain old drunk. It’s the opposite of a moment of clarity. Mostly it’s others that point it out when you’re being stupid such as, “Jamus why’d you trip down the stairs? You’re drunk as hell!” Actually that could be used for either drunk as hell. My friend Alulla became an alcoholic when he came to school at UCSC, which obviously led to some crazy adventures. One night after getting rejected from a girl again he decided to hit the bottle. He did drink a little too much and had to be taken care of. One of our friends suggested we give him some bread to absorb the alcohol. We didn’t have any bread so our friend suggested that we use some spare cheez-itz. Suffice to say, we did not move ahead with that plan, but one of my friends was not happy about some of the puke that got on his bean bag. One of the best times Alulla was completely wasted was when we went to a showing of Rocky Horror where I dressed in drag to get into the spirit. So before we left he got hammered… again. It did take a turn for the worse because he needed to go to the hospital. He blacked out and couldn’t remember anything except seeing me in full on drag.
Stay Classy,
Jamus Hain
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