There had to be about thirty urinals lined up in this huge public bathroom. Not one urinal was taken. So I did what every man does when they get the option of choosing a urinal, I miny mini mode my way to picking one. It felt great being all by myself in this gigantic bathroom. I unzipped faster than a rock star strumming his first cord in a sold out concert. Just as I was about to release my stream to the world, some loud cowboy looking dude enters. I told myself, “Nathan relax, he has 29 other urinals to choose from, he won’t even see you.” The guy picks the urinal right next to me! The guy was so tall that his right leg actually crossed into my path of peeing. I don’t care where anyone is from, you never do that in any situation. That’s like sitting next to someone on an empty bus, or sitting next to someone in the dining hall when there are four empty tables. I tried calming myself down, but all of a sudden the man starting asking me questions. That worst part was that he actually moved his head in my direction. There has got to be a law written down somewhere where a man can only look straight while using a urinal. The only thing a man needs to observe is the cracks on the wall. I don’t care if someone is unsure if they are peeing in their pants, you never look down. So anyways, the man asks me this, “Hey buddy, do you know why my pee smells when I eat asparagus?” I looked straightforward and answered by telling him, “Probably the same reason why your ass smells like chili.”
Nathan Habib
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