Julie Roth+ Viruses For All

This blog is around four days late, but I'd like to imagine that the reasons for this justify, or at least explain how this happened.

About two weeks ago, while trying to watch an episode of The Office online, I had the delight of being infected by a Trojan Vundo. This is the second time I've had a major computer infection, and last time it was also because I was trying to watch The Office. I just can't say no to corporate America and tall guys who will bend over backwards for their girl (Jesus, someone find me a Jim Halpert). This virus has most likely ruined my computer and everything on it, but I don't know yet because I am still too devastated to muster enough strength and courage to try and fix this. I turned it off before it could spread to my loved ones, because I GOT INFECTED. ACTUALLY.

Let me say that I have the immune system of an ox. I rarely get sick, have never been "seriously" ill (a few fevers over the years and two accounts of perpetual vomiting that I remember-- in 1994 and 1999), and haven't taken any medicine except for the occasional aspirin since early childhood. There was that one time I had to take antibiotics, though, but that's because I started peeing blood. HOWEVER, Thursday I finally accepted that I was catching something and that night had a temperature of 100.3. By Friday morning I was up to 102.6 with a cough, headache, chills, no appetite, and I felt so weak I thought about just wetting the bed so I wouldn't have to walk to the bathroom. All the while, it's finally the weekend and I'm home alone on my deathbed (living room couch) with the instructions to "sweat it out" while staring through the sliding back door to my backyard because I have no computer or television or housemates to help me forget the exhausting agony I'm in. I spent Thursday through Sunday in the same sweat-soaked and stinking (I lost my deodorant) sundress and cardigan.

You know when you cough so much you start to gag and make wet, choking noises? And then your eyes start watering? You ever cough so much the next day you wake up sore and can't sit up straight? I'm going to have rock-hard abs in a week.