Being sick is not sick.

So it’s been about a week and a half since I’ve been sick, but I have been without my voice the entire time. Some people say it’s sexy, some people say that I sound like an 80 year old with emphysema. Psh, as if there’s a difference between the two. But really it is so very inhibiting. I can’t smoke pot, shouldn’t smoke cigarettes (my bad), and cannot sing or even yell. These are like my four favorite things in life… especially yelling. At its’ worst I only have two options, I can mess with my vocal chords so I sound like a Stephen Hawking-esque robot, or I can reduce myself to a soft whisper. When I do either of these things, I can speak completely audibly. So I am faced with this decision, robot or whisper man? What do girls find more attractive I wonder? Would they rather have my get up close and personal and whisper sweet nothings in there ear, or would they prefer to be hit on by Cody-bot3000. As I found out, they don’t really go for either… which is a major bummer. Anyways… what’s the deal with phlegm? I mean its absolutely nasty. But really, what the fuck is the deal with phlegm, and why do I have so much of it in and around my chest and nasal passages. And why couldn’t they just spell it ‘flem,’ like it ought to be? I guess these are just some of the unanswerable mysteries of life.