So I have been going to this school for the past 40 days. And while I have made some friends, I have also made some acquaintances.
You know – those people you have met only two or three times and you were intoxicated during at least one of those meetings. Those people that you are friends with on facebook, but not actually friends with in real life.
I always get noticeably nervous when I see one of those acquaintances walking towards me around campus.
This is the dialogue that occurs in my head: “Oh hey there’s Joseph Smith, that kid I met at that crazy Rugby party. Oh man I should not have had so many tequila shots, but that girl just kept pouring them…I wonder if he even remembers me. Fuck should I say hi? What if he doesn’t know who I am and I look like a complete idiot? Fuck he caught me staring. Fuck he didn’t recognize me. Quick look down! Look down!”
And then all of a sudden my shoes become incredibly interesting.
“Oh man the buckles on my earth brown Birkenstocks are starting to wear down. Oh wow my foot sweat has really made an imprint in the sole. Jeeze these shoes just have excellent traction walking up and down these hills.”
And we pass each other, each pretending that the previous few seconds were not incredibly awkward.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Cory Donaldson Blog 2
I lost a good friend of mine recently due to some bad drug choices. He was such a bright soul, always extending his help any way he could. He didn't die or anything... he just completly lost himself while trying to find himself. Now isn't that ironic? Note to whom it may concern: don't mix drugs with self discovery. Remember it's all mind over matter and you are always in control of your trip. It blows my mind how people just completely lose themselves, they start to speak in riddles and they get this insane look in their eyes. It really freaks you out when they stare into your eyes and smile.. ya know? Like something out of a movie but this shit's real. Nobody wants to tell you in the beginning of your drug adventures that some people never come out the other side until it's too late and sometimes the damage is irreversable. It makes me want to cry but it doesn't make me want to stop using drugs. I just which that he could have been stronger, and smarter then to let the drugs ruin his life. He had to leave campus because he couldn't manage himself properly and now he might get his education taken away from him... in the end everything he thought he discovered about the meaning of life won't mean a damn thing cause he's going to be alone and crazy. Sigh. I found this bench in the meadow while trippin' the other day and I sat down and read this quote written to the right side and it said, "Love is the answer to the irrelevance of exsistence," and at the time I'd never heard anything so true in my life. I'd like to live this out in my life. I've always thought love is the answer but now I know for sure what the question was to even begin with. I hope my friend can mend his troubled mind with some love and time. Time will always stay the same and so will love. Everything else changes. Change is inevitable, well except from vending machines...
"Toilet Paper Troubles" by Jason Garcia (Blog 2)
The toilet paper in the bathrooms here SUCK. Any one who has ever lived on campus knows this fact. There is absolutely nothing worse than one ply toilet paper. It destroys your confidence, because you think it will probably disintegrate as soon as you try to wipe. After you’ve grabbed the amount of toilet paper you are about to use, the last thing you want to see is your hand through the wad. It’s impossible to feel safe or sanitary when wiping.
Imagine, if you will TP-ing a house with regular TP. It’s got to be the best job you’ve ever done. A minimum 108 roll job. When you are done with your masterpiece, you feel no better feeling than stepping back and looking at what appears to be a snowy fortress. It’s a beautiful sight to see. If you were to use the stuff we have here, the results just wouldn’t be the same. You’ll step back and the house will look like it’s covered with a slight fog or mist. Where’s the fun in that?
I’ve now been buying good quality stuff in bulk from Costco and selling out of my room for a 30% mark up on the store price. It’s turned out to be a very lucrative business and I’m flooded with customers. I’ve have begun the sale of different brands and softness by popular demand. I plan on expanding my business into the “used” and “refurbished” categories in the near future. I’m currently looking for a business partner
Imagine, if you will TP-ing a house with regular TP. It’s got to be the best job you’ve ever done. A minimum 108 roll job. When you are done with your masterpiece, you feel no better feeling than stepping back and looking at what appears to be a snowy fortress. It’s a beautiful sight to see. If you were to use the stuff we have here, the results just wouldn’t be the same. You’ll step back and the house will look like it’s covered with a slight fog or mist. Where’s the fun in that?
I’ve now been buying good quality stuff in bulk from Costco and selling out of my room for a 30% mark up on the store price. It’s turned out to be a very lucrative business and I’m flooded with customers. I’ve have begun the sale of different brands and softness by popular demand. I plan on expanding my business into the “used” and “refurbished” categories in the near future. I’m currently looking for a business partner
Nice Guys Finish Last: an Evolutionary Study
Josh Abrams
Nice Guys Finish Last: an Evolutionary Study
I’m what most people would refer to as a nice guy. Nice guys, like me, are always polite and friendly to everyone, but with tendencies to be awkward. These characteristics make it hard to find significant others because due to these traits we always end up in the friend zone, despite our higher levels of compassion and consideration. The friend zone as we all know is dating limbo. In the friend zone all romantic actions a person makes towards someone they are interested in is always taken as an act of friendship despite the obvious intentions of romantic interest. I have been experiencing this phenomenon for too long now and have decided to discover why it occurs so frequently. What I aimed to find out is why do girls of value and intelligence always go for guys who treat them poorly when their are plenty of more gentlemanly guys available who know how to treat ladies like ladies. What I have concluded is that this occurs because of evolution. Douchey guys were always out clubbing the saber tooth tigers and T-rexes, half the time for food and defense and the rest of the time for no reason what so ever. The Cro-Magnon women back then was attracted to these tendencies and rightfully so. But as evolution, technology, and feminism have increased through the years you think that this trend would have petered off. But it hasn’t. It makes no sense. I don’t understand women or the choices they make. Fuck dating.
Nice Guys Finish Last: an Evolutionary Study
I’m what most people would refer to as a nice guy. Nice guys, like me, are always polite and friendly to everyone, but with tendencies to be awkward. These characteristics make it hard to find significant others because due to these traits we always end up in the friend zone, despite our higher levels of compassion and consideration. The friend zone as we all know is dating limbo. In the friend zone all romantic actions a person makes towards someone they are interested in is always taken as an act of friendship despite the obvious intentions of romantic interest. I have been experiencing this phenomenon for too long now and have decided to discover why it occurs so frequently. What I aimed to find out is why do girls of value and intelligence always go for guys who treat them poorly when their are plenty of more gentlemanly guys available who know how to treat ladies like ladies. What I have concluded is that this occurs because of evolution. Douchey guys were always out clubbing the saber tooth tigers and T-rexes, half the time for food and defense and the rest of the time for no reason what so ever. The Cro-Magnon women back then was attracted to these tendencies and rightfully so. But as evolution, technology, and feminism have increased through the years you think that this trend would have petered off. But it hasn’t. It makes no sense. I don’t understand women or the choices they make. Fuck dating.
Tyler Watson Blog 2
This blog is different from the last, not related.
So it turns out my baby only eats cooked carrots, bullshit. The circus has come to town, and I am this close to having enough money to go, if it weren’t for my baby. I hear they have a lion this year, which would be awesome to see. I’ve dreamed of lions in my sleep, dreamed of them. But this stupid baby of mine keeps pooping itself and it takes me three hours to clean it up. I’m this close to putting it into a daycare service I swear. I got a job promotion at the q-tip factory, a three thousand dollar raise, but I missed my first day of work because my baby pooped. And my baby only eats cooked carrots, so you can vividly picture what that poop looks like. I need to get my baby diapers, that might be one of the reasons that it takes me so long to clean it up, but I really want to go to the circus, they say that someone is going to stick their head into the lion’s head. I really want to see that, because there’s a good chance that that person will get their head bitten off. Lions probably like it when you stick your head in their mouths. Dammit, talking about this circus again, I have to go! I guess I’ll have to sell my baby’s crib, that thing cost a hundred dollars! I could probably sell it in time for the circus for at least two dollars, that’s all I’m short. The circus is so close I can almost taste it. I’m going to have to sneak into Mr. McGregor’s garden and steal more carrots. It’s a pain in my ass. Plus, I actually have a pain in my ass that I need to have the doctor look at. BUt these carrots, I have to pull them out of the ground and stuff. All for my baby. The things I do for parenthood, I swear.
So it turns out my baby only eats cooked carrots, bullshit. The circus has come to town, and I am this close to having enough money to go, if it weren’t for my baby. I hear they have a lion this year, which would be awesome to see. I’ve dreamed of lions in my sleep, dreamed of them. But this stupid baby of mine keeps pooping itself and it takes me three hours to clean it up. I’m this close to putting it into a daycare service I swear. I got a job promotion at the q-tip factory, a three thousand dollar raise, but I missed my first day of work because my baby pooped. And my baby only eats cooked carrots, so you can vividly picture what that poop looks like. I need to get my baby diapers, that might be one of the reasons that it takes me so long to clean it up, but I really want to go to the circus, they say that someone is going to stick their head into the lion’s head. I really want to see that, because there’s a good chance that that person will get their head bitten off. Lions probably like it when you stick your head in their mouths. Dammit, talking about this circus again, I have to go! I guess I’ll have to sell my baby’s crib, that thing cost a hundred dollars! I could probably sell it in time for the circus for at least two dollars, that’s all I’m short. The circus is so close I can almost taste it. I’m going to have to sneak into Mr. McGregor’s garden and steal more carrots. It’s a pain in my ass. Plus, I actually have a pain in my ass that I need to have the doctor look at. BUt these carrots, I have to pull them out of the ground and stuff. All for my baby. The things I do for parenthood, I swear.
"That Minty Fresh Feeling, No Matter What" - Madelyn Somers
So when I went to school in the United Kingdom, yeah I sound conceited, but hey they’re funny people and provide for great material, so shut up. Anyway, no offense to them, but the English school system is like having a candle stick appear over your head instead of a light bulb*, it could use an upgrade. *May I suggest the Halogen Sustainable Energy Saver? Not unlike Harry Potter they don’t use the internet to “shop” for classes, everything is pen to paper. Like how am I supposed to get my online shopping fix if I can’t add classes to my cart?
I’m very particular about what I put under my arms as I am with what I put up, in, and around my gina, so when I recently went to Savons, I mean Longs, fuck, CVS and stood in front of the shelf for a good 30 minutes, I was totally perplexed about this whole redefining of antiperspirant. I left having bought spray on deodorant today because the glide on looked like a pariah on the shelf. I went home and used it and it felt like I was spraying Binaca in the pit and I would never, ever spray Bianca in, or around the poontang, unless...hmm, and then I thought about it, actually that might not be such a bad idea, you know for that “minty fresh feeling, no matter what” I tried it and you know that two second delay and then the AHHH FUCKING HELL THAT HURTS LIKE A BITCH CUNT MOTHER FUCKER! Yeah, felt like I was using a can of aerosol and tagging in the wrong alley. I’d like a Surgeon General Warning, like everyone knows not to spray random chemicals in your eyes, but every other orifice is somewhat ambiguous, thank you.
I’m very particular about what I put under my arms as I am with what I put up, in, and around my gina, so when I recently went to Savons, I mean Longs, fuck, CVS and stood in front of the shelf for a good 30 minutes, I was totally perplexed about this whole redefining of antiperspirant. I left having bought spray on deodorant today because the glide on looked like a pariah on the shelf. I went home and used it and it felt like I was spraying Binaca in the pit and I would never, ever spray Bianca in, or around the poontang, unless...hmm, and then I thought about it, actually that might not be such a bad idea, you know for that “minty fresh feeling, no matter what” I tried it and you know that two second delay and then the AHHH FUCKING HELL THAT HURTS LIKE A BITCH CUNT MOTHER FUCKER! Yeah, felt like I was using a can of aerosol and tagging in the wrong alley. I’d like a Surgeon General Warning, like everyone knows not to spray random chemicals in your eyes, but every other orifice is somewhat ambiguous, thank you.
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