ANGRY BLOG!!! by Alex Machock

I’M SO ANGRY!
Why am I so angry? Because my life is horrible, that's why!
NO! I Don’t care what you say about children starving in Africa, or the Holocaust. MY LIFE IS WAY WORSE!
I SWEAR!
You don't believe me? First of all,
I HATE YOU, STOP BEING A DICK!
Secondly, let me tell you about an average day for me, and you'll see why I lead the worst existence imaginable.
First of all, I had class 9:30 AM. But I went to sleep at 3. That adds up to about six hours of sleep! SIX HOURS! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO FUNCTION WITH ANYTHING LESS THEN 13 HOURS A DAY? FUCKING HELL, I'M SURE THE PRISONERS IN CONCENTRATION CAMPS NEVER HAD TO DEAL WITH A LACK OF SLEEP THIS BAD!!
But wait guys, it gets worse. No joke.
So I wake up and go pour myself some cereal. But get this, there’s no milk. I’m seriously out of fucking milk! BUT I WANT TO EAT CEREAL!! HOW AM I GONNA EAT IT NOW?! SWEET BEARDED JESUS, GUANTANAMO BAY PRISONERS DON’T EVEN HAVE TO DEAL WITH SHIT THIS BAD! WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO? POUR MY CAPTAIN CRUNCH BACK INTO THE CEREAL BOX LIKE AN ASSHOLE? NO! THAT’S ABSURD!
So I'm walking to my 9:30 class…without any breakfast mind you.
...oh, and did I mention this is 9:30 in the morning? HOLY SHIT HAS THEIR EVER BEEN AN EARLIER CLASS IN THE HISTORY OF CIVILIZATION?! WHO THE HELL IS UP AT 9:30 AM? NOBODY, THAT'S WHO!!
Anyway I’m walking to class and I see this jerkoff walking in the opposite direction. I try to ignore him but then he recognizes me from class last year. We make eye contact and he goes “what’s up?”
…WHAT’S UP? WHAT’S UP?! WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN? CAN’T HE SEE I’M TRYING TO WALK TO CLASS? WHAT KIND OF INCONSIDERATE ASSHOLE WOULD INTERRUPT MY WALKING WITH SUCH TRIVIAL BULLSHIT? I HATE YOU! By the way, nice beanie fucktard. I’m being sarcastic though, because your beanie is not nice at all and actually looks quite foolish on your head. DID I MENTION I HATE YOU?
So I punched the guy in the face and ran off crying.
Seriously, my life is hell.